happy halloween.

Never have I ever even remotely considered Halloween my favorite holiday.. until this year, perhaps. Historically, it’s always been Friendsgiving. And I think I’m happy to report that I’m okay with using the two interchangeably, switching between front-runner and runner-up depending on the moment.

I’ve almost always been a strictly non-fiction reader, with sprinkles of sapphic romcoms that sometimes slip in. So maybe my non-fiction blinders are to blame for why I’ve benched Halloween way more than it deserves. Consider this piece my apology letter to you, Halloween, and a thank-you in advance, my friend, before November 27th rolls around.

The world today is a dumpster fire. And bless my therapist’s heart (11 years and counting) for putting up with me, proudly displaying her “sorry for trauma dumping” sticker that I once gifted her. I’m not gonna get into all the reasons our world sucks right now, because my goal is for you to get through this not-novel-length piece in a single sitting. But I will say: it’s felt liberating to detach from reality in my recent blog posts – to believe in an alternative world where, if I manifest lofty life goals loudly enough, maybe they’ll actually come true someday.

So here’s another attempt, to give my One Less Lonely Girl™️ (who still gets a little lonely sometimes… even with the swagger of Marty McFly) something to reflect on. Maybe in another 11 years, when my therapist is still the longest relationship I’ve ever maintained [2️⃣2️⃣ years & counting], I’ll look back and decide whether the magic of manifestation actually gets you somewhere… or if it’s just a product of being a lil delulu.

Didn’t think I’d be spending Halloween in Columbus this year, but here we are. As my coworker and I were Ubering to an arcade bar, we realized it was trick-or-treating day for the kiddos. She asked the driver if this was the main area for it. After his quick confirmation, I chimed in, “Must be. Look at these huge houses. Definitely where the kids come for their full-sized candy bars.”

I guess, in my dream world, I’d also wish for a home that brings kids that same joy – a full-sized-candy-bar kind of home. But not too big. I’ve never believed in “the bigger, the better” when it comes to where I live. I’d rather reallocate what I’d spend on those extra square feet into decorations and an elevated trick-or-treating experience that’s more original than just candy.

Maybe I’d run little experiments.. like giving out yo-yos, but offering a double-or-nothing round if you score a Bozo bucket toss. Make it in? You win a Bop It & the yo-yo. Miss? You walk away with a Jolly Rancher at best, if you’re lucky. Or maybe I’d set up a generosity game.. where kids can choose between taking a crisp $5 bill, or passing it forward to double the pot for the next trick-or-treater. Or maybe I’d offer something that lasts longer than a candy bar that’s eaten and forgotten.. like a choice between their favorite treat or a Polaroid photo with their family or friends. Something that turns Halloween into a little more permanent memory-maker instead of just a temporary sugar rush.

Idk… maybe I’m too deep in my night-word-vomit to wrap this up neatly. But TL;DR: there’s something really special about Halloween. It’s the one holiday where you can disguise yourself for whatever reason, to be whoever or whatever you want. Whether you dress as someone you aspire to become, the tomb of someone you’d rather not see roaming our world, or an inside joke only your best friend understands, it’s completely okay to assume the role that fulfills whatever you’re fostering.

girl in red fell in love in October. And while the month has nearly passed with me still lover-less, I’m at least leaving it with a newfound love for a holiday I never saw becoming the favorite.