truth is, my heart’s full.

I solemnly swear to make my post after this one more light-hearted to get some giggles out of whatever silly people go out of their way to read this. until then, pardon the sappy.

a few years ago, I wrote February 19th. that date will forever be ingrained in my brain. rereading the blog post, I realized how much I beat around the bush in writing it so here’s the harder, more straightforward truth: I was fired from a job I poured so much love into, was hospitalized, and diagnosed with bipolar all in the same day. (for real y’all, I recommend spreading that shit out if you can). the serendipitous, good karma of February 19th hit me this year when i started working at pie that very date, and suddenly, i really feel that singing “Kill em with kindness” on repeat all these years paid off (shouts to Selena Gomez – an also having bipolar baddie).

I feel like I’d be doing a disservice not to resurface these words:

To my friend — my gritty, beautiful, loving, inspiring, irreplaceable friend: take your time. Let it pour. Give this place the most beautiful storm it has ever seen. And when you’re ready, I’ll come find you.

Love, 

Happiness

I’ve been feeling really, really happy lately. and I want to knock on all the wood in the world right now, not to jinx losing this feeling that took so long to believe in and feel again. at the same time, i would take every ounce of happy in me, and give it to my friends that could use more of it today than i can. i promise I’m not saying this in an attempt to sound heroic, or to paint a false narrative that’s actually physically impossible. i just truly get joy by giving.

recent conversations have really led me to believe that there is no better way of loving anything or anyone than by telling the truth. the more I reflect on this sentiment, the more it resonates; the more it resonates, the more i see it rippling through my life more than ever these days – in my friendships, in my relationship, in reading my visit summaries after each doctor visit… truth feels scary sometimes; but there’s so much truth in love and vice versa.

I feel compelled to share the parts of my story that don’t always surface when I’m posting all smiles on the ‘gram or when I’m surrounded by my favorite people and also can’t help being nothing but smiles. the truth is, i struggled for years. i still do sometimes. and when I do, i listen to the same ~25 songs on the repeat in my “feels” playlist, including Superbloom by Misterwives that I’m missing seeing performed live right now, in this very moment (loving you a little extra, Katie, for FaceTiming me in). Today, I’m adding another song into the shuffle. To my friends — my gritty, beautiful, loving, inspiring, irreplaceable friends, this one’s for you:

so much creds to my sidebraid sister.