few facts about myself

I’m 30 years old.

Parker is my chosen middle name.

I’m 5’5”. On a really good day.

I was the tallest kid in my class in middle school and I’m shorter than I wish I was.

I have exactly one, soon-to-be two tattoos.

This year, I had a birthday party where there was a mountain built of crab rangoons.

The two things I can actually cook are vegan chili and Kraft Mac & Cheese.

I am not vegan. I am queer.

I hate that we gender clothing, but I prefer to wear men’s.

I don’t understand why we as women still feel the need to hide tampons up our sleeves when we walk to the bathroom.

I believe that there are two types of people in this world: ones who pee in the shower and liars.

My high school basketball coach was also the disciplinary dude and thankfully, I never found myself in detention.

I went to an “elite institution.” My college Dean approved all of my finals extension requests when I entered my sad girl era junior year.

I’m the daughter of a woman who cleans houses for a living. She cooks every meal at home and the one time we took her out for sushi, she mistook wasabi for avocado. If I had a penny for every time she said “I love you,” I could pay down all our family loans. I can’t say “I love you” back.

I’m the daughter of a man who is a creature of habit. He eats oatmeal for breakfast every single morning. If I had a penny for every pill he’s had to swallow in his life, I could make retirement feel within arm’s reach.

I reach for God’s hand. He does not help me. I’m am not religious anymore but recently my chosen family has led me to believe that maybe we don’t have to die to experience heaven. Hell, I’d die for all of them in a heartbeat. Maybe I don’t need a God. Maybe I just need my gay friends and a good therapist.

I believe that every scar comes with a short story that’s meant to be heard.

I believe that strong listening skills should be listed on my life’s resume.

I believe that my work resume is a work in progress. Either that or I already peaked professionally years ago.

I want to start something and I don’t know where to start. I want to finish writing this piece and I don’t know where to end it.