spring cleaning.

I know nothing about Aries season other than we’re in it, and everything seems to be shaking: romantic relationships, friendships, work statuses, moods, my ass at Flannel Fridays…

Spring is here, y’all, and in the wise words of cleaning-connoisseur Marie Kondo, we must throw away anything that doesn’t spark joy. It’s not meant to be easy. After all, I can barely detach myself from the sentimental value of even the most miniscule things that should be thrown away: like, how do I part with even one of my way too many hawaiian shirts when (1) they are a part of my Hawaiian Princess identity and (2) they come with distinct memories from that one time I wore each one? Throwing things out signifies the end of an era and suggests an end to the sweet, sweet indulgence of memories that come with them. Thankfully, it also signifies the beginning of a new era, whatever that is for you. Whatever era you’re in, embrace it. Recently at a bonfire with friends, I came to the conclusion that I’m at the beginning of my “make plans every second of every day era.” To my GCal: glow up bby. 

Spring is the season of reevaluation. It provides us time to reflect on why we bought or brought certain items or people into our lives, detach ourselves from those that don’t bring us joy or provide any value, and decide how to move forward. Spring cleaning erases the clutter, the drama, the unnecessary stressors and it reinforces what’s actually important and meaningful in life. 

Believe it or not, spring cleaning the people in your life is probably the most pivotal cleanse you should do. Perhaps a good way to make it fun is to turn it into a classic game of fuck, marry, and kill. But to keep it more socially acceptable, let’s rephrase that into: keep, change, and ditch. 

The sorting of relationships can go something like this: 

1. The keep pile: this is reserved for the best of the best, the people that check all the boxes. Are they empathetic? Are they genuine? Generous and kind? Do they reciprocate the energy you pour into planning dates and hangs together? Name three specific reasons you’re grateful to have them in your life. Can’t name three reasons? Maybe there’s no reason to keep them in your keep pile. 
2. The change pile: this is reserved for the people you find yourself defending to your friends; the ones where you find yourself saying: “I promise they can change!” Let’s be real, if you find yourself saying this time and time again, the change is unlikely. Maybe they take four days to respond to your text but you’re convinced it’s because they’re super busy. Maybe the person is extra vanilla but you’re willing to do the whole therapizing thing to help them “grow.” Maybe, just maybe it’s time for a reality check, but in the meantime, you’re willing to give them another chance. You’re willing to keep them in this happy medium – between the keep and the ditch piles – at least until the next reevaluation season. 
3. The discard pile: this pile is reserved for the walking red flags. The people that you know you’d be better without. The ones that selfishly don’t think about anyone but themselves. The ones that you find yourself bitching about nine times out of ten. As hard as it may seem, it’s important to take inventory of what you need out of your relationships, to redefine your expectations, and ultimately, to inch towards a less stressful future by ditching the people that actually leave more damage in your life, despite you trying to constantly swiffer up their mess. As my Sidebraid Sister would say: “Let go.” Life will feel that much more precious when you get rid of toxic people. 

The sun is peeking in through the clouds and spring is here. Keep only the piles you care deeply about – the ones that fill you with joy and provide you energy to keep moving forward.