I don’t know about you.. but I’m feelin’ (20)22 was a reminder that everything is going to be alright.
Personally, my year hasn’t been full of monumental changes, yet I feel so grateful for the growth, the memories, and the miniscule changes that came my way. For example:
- I moved down the block from one Andersonville apartment to another! I now have a really cool landlord and a really huge TV and a decorative mantle and a living room that can fit a 9-foot Christmas tree and a guest room and so much space for two monster kittens to run around when they get the zoomies and I can take baths! My lovely girlfriend and I built a lovely home that feels so homey, which makes me happy.
- I started a new job and kept it for (nearly) a full year! Imagine that… I actually learned that I don’t live to work and that work is not my identity nor the love of my life. It is an important part of my life, only because it takes up the most time in my life, and [money] is what will ultimately help me have a more financially comfy future. But that’s it.
- I went down on one of my many meds by the tiniest bit! Abilify gives me the ability to be a fully functioning, stable human, and I went from taking 1.5 tablets to 1. Is it because I complained about having to chop one in half every other day? Maybe.. But look, I feel like the more I distance myself from 2020 (thank goodness that’s with every minute that passes), the more I come closer to returning to “myself” as I said back then. I’m happy with how far I’ve come and I’m happy with how happy I feel most every day.
- I now have bleach blonde hair that just so happens to look just like Betty Who’s! Not to rub it in for those that didn’t join me, but I went to the AT&T National Coming Out Day celebration where Betty Who performed. Not only was I standing front row, but she also took my hand as we slowly fell in love… (sorry Katie!) and said, “I like your hair. It looks a lot like mine.” Then we took a picture together, (siblings or dating am I right?). And it looks like I’ll have to stay a blondie forever now. Or at least for as long as my new BFF Betty is.
- I started climbing and played beach volleyball and purchased a ping pong table! Plot twist: I have hobbies now.
- I started mismatching my earrings! Edgy.
- I got my first tattoo! Also, edgy. The tattoo was a great first tattoo and means a lot to me. Accepting suggestions for my next ones.
- I made new friends and strengthened relationships with old ones! If you know me at all, you should know that my favorite hobby is making friends at queer events around the city. So thank you queer events and queer places! Thank you slo’mo, Flannel Friday, Fletcher, Nobody’s Darling, Late Night Chicks, etc. etc. Thank you to my new friends who actually weren’t freaked out by my awkward platonic pick-up line: “Hey, we should be friends!” More importantly though, my best friends became bestier by day. I’d be a mashed potato without my friends, whatever that means.. Thank you to my friends, for keeping me smiling non-stop. I have a hard time not smiling when with friends, even when I’m trying my best to be mad for whatever reason.
I learned a lot this year too. I learned that I like my coffee with Coffee Mate’s coconut creme creamer just as much as I like my coffee plain, with extra oat milk. I learned that my spice tolerance has gone up, and I even like Cholula hot sauce. I learned that the decision of which stickers make the cut for my giant water bottle is an important one. I learned that I will forever follow recipes to the tee, even when adding a pinch of salt is quicker than measuring a teaspoon. I learned that BeReal is still staged to an extent. I learned that my “About me” section on my blog is actually outdated. I learned that setting boundaries makes for a better, more uplifting time overall. I learned that you can never have too many doctor visits, and that maybe they’ll even eliminate a diagnosis you thought you’ve had your entire life (or find a new one..). I learned the power of vulnerability: when we feel the most fragile and unsure, we have the choice to find what’s meant to be through honest, tough conversations. I learned that most everything is temporary: jobs, sunshine, grief, flowers, family…I learned just how much friendships can evolve: some fade overtime, some strengthen. Some strangers quickly turn into lifelong friends.
Relationships – both romantic and platonic – can require different amounts of effort at different times. I had the hardest year of my life a couple years ago, and I leaned on my friends and partner more than I wish I had to. I recognize that some very important people in my life faced life’s changes a lot more than I did this year. Whether those were good changes or challenging changes, there’s something comforting in knowing that we are there for each other through it all, whenever the time comes. This year, I cried less overall, though I cried most when seeing my friends sad or hurting.
Not to put one of the most thoughtful people I know in the spotlight but here I am. Let’s call her Goosey. Goosey (a clever pseudonym that will definitely disguise this person’s true identity) read my entire blog, start to finish, when I barely knew her real name. We’ve become better friends since then, thank heavens! One memorable ice-breaker she once asked me was: What’s something positive that has happened to you recently? I don’t know why, but that question has stuck with me. I couldn’t think of a damn thing that’s happened to me. So instead, I answered about how my friend’s recent news of getting into business school was something positive in MY life. I quickly realized how important it is seeing the success and happiness of people I care about.
This year, I have seen so many friends taking scary leaps in life and following their happy paths. I’m excited for them, and I’m excited for me to be able to witness their successes first-hand. And that, my friends, has been my greatest joy and the most positive thing that has happened to me this year.
Hawaiian Princess Pieces 