Happy December 26th y’all. Never have I ever thought I’d witness a December 26th in Chicago, where the sun’s blazin’ and it’s a literal 60 degrees fahrenheit outside. Yet here we are. Good ol’ global warming – what a sexy, dangerous beast you are.
So, obviously, the day before yesterday was December 24th and yesterday was December 25th, or what some may prefer to call “Christmas Eve” and “Christmas Day,” respectively. This year, I on the other hand, preferred to call them “Emotionally-taxing AF Days.” In an intentional effort not to re-trigger any unnecessary trauma, I won’t be diving into the ‘whys’ of that last sentence. However, I did want to give a special shoutout to my sidebraid-wearing sister, who showed me that we really don’t need Biology to form Family.
If there’s any season that really gets my mind thinking (and perhaps over-thinking), it’s definitely the holidays. This year, I spent a ton of time thinking about what my carefully-crafted, dream Christmas would look like:
Simplistic. Designed to include everyone, though LGBTQ+ and/or disabled a likely majority. Accessibility, needs and preferences acknowledged. a table: vegan, vegetarian, flexitarian, meat-eaters all alike. a bar cart: alcoholic and non, cheap wines, local craft brews, kiddie-cocktails, lots of bubbly beverages (i.e. LaCroix and LaChampagne). transportation talk: rides and carpools to and from, how to enter, how to navigate within. safety: driving back, getting picked up, public transit, Uber/Lyft home, an open invite for a slumber party otherwise. community creation: compassionate conversations that don’t strictly revolve around heteronormative, abled measures of success like home-ownership, fancy cars (or the ability to drive them), family, marriage, children.
The invite would say something like:
Hello, human! 🌈
You are cordially invited…
Who: You! + any other human you know that might want to spend December 25th somewhere with a welcoming & inclusive group of folks who implicitly understand and respect each other
What: a safe space to celebrate one another
When: December 25th, 20xx
Where: under a radically-accepting roof @ [insert address here]
Why: do we really need a reason?
If there is anything that I took away from Emotionally-taxing AF Days this year, it’s that the notion of “perfect” simply does not exist. I wholeheartedly believe that the world would be a better place if people didn’t use the term “perfect” so carelessly, and instead, consciously minimized (or even completely eliminated) the term from their vocabulary. Allow me to explain:
All too often, people get so wound up during the holidays that they overlook the most important part of it: the chance to build (or build upon) the meaningful connection with the person(s) you’re with. Speaking from experience, I can confidently say that I could care less about spending holidays at a place that’s spotless, or has chef-quality cooking, or that’s decorated so meticulously that it’s mistaken for a Hallmark ad home.
And this notion of “perfect is impossible” doesn’t just apply to the holidays. So many individuals spend so long looking or waiting for their “perfect person” to come around. I hate to be a dream-killer here, but there is no such thing as a perfect person. Sure, you could rationalize and reiterate that you’re dating your soulmate who is completely perfect, but guess what? When they make a mistake – even one that’s completely trivial – you’ve already convinced them that they’re perfect and therefore implied that there is zero wiggle room necessary for improvement. Dating aside, I literally cannot think of a single concept, thing, or being – tangible or intangible – that is perfect. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been equally guilty of using the word [perfect] semi-regularly myself. For example, I recently received a report back from a colleague and replied, “This is perfect!” With that response, I subconsciously meant: “I don’t see any errors.” However, I now realize that in labeling the report as ‘perfect’, I’m simultaneously omitting opportunities to challenge any concepts within it.
Just look up and around the space you’re currently in and play the “Impossibly Perfect Game” with me: name any item you see and tell me about its imperfection(s) or defend the reason(s) why I’m wrong in my theory of perfect being impossible.
Here’s my turn:
- Table: it’s imperfect because of its many stains, scratches and splotches
- My phone: it’s imperfect because the speaker is broken and has a limited amount of memory space
- Pen: it’s imperfect because it runs out of ink eventually…
- My socks: they’re imperfect because there’s a small hole already that’ll only get bigger with time
- My water bottle: it’s imperfect because it makes water too warm in summer days and turns it into ice on winter days
..and so on and so forth.
The problem with “perfect” is that its application leaves zero room for error or improvement. By embracing imperfections, we can pave a way for betterment and keep learning a part of our lives.
Hawaiian Princess Pieces 