Today’s Thanksgiving.
Wow.
You would think that I would’ve taken the hint to set the watches I wear every day to actually read the right time by now. But I haven’t yet; I still wear my watches as if I’m actually capable of creating some sort of fashion statement. With that, I walk around with zero sense of time and how quickly it actually flies.
Today, I want to [1] take the time to share one of the greatest lessons I took so deeply to heart and [2] to highlight the people and the things I’ve been especially grateful for this year.
The Great Lesson:
This past April, I flew out to Yale’s Inaugural First-Generation Conference. That was actually my first time returning to campus since graduating, and the entire experience felt incredibly special. I made myself completely vulnerable. I felt validated. My voice mattered; it mattered to me and to those around me. I listened to other alumni so attentively; I never knew I related so much to so many of them.
I ran into a former colleague at the conference, Roselyn, who was also one of my very first friends at Yale. One of the things she said at the conference resonates with me to this day. She simply said: “It’s okay to live life according to your own timeline.”
I loved hearing that. I think I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that it was okay that I aimlessly accepted my first low-ball salary offer post-college, because it was already more money than my family ever knew. I needed to hear everyone’s story that I did to be assured I wasn’t alone.
I’m living life by my own timeline and not comparing it to anyone else’s. I also do not care to follow any traditional track, such as being married by 30, then having kids, then settling, etc. I had to start from a blank slate of sorts after college. I made some risky decisions since then. I made several mistakes since then too. And here I am now, 25 years young and still learning from them.
I’m glad that this lesson stuck with me. Coming from so little makes me realize I have a lot to be grateful for, especially the trivial things. I’d like to reflect on a select few:
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I’m grateful for…
My brother.
I have one sibling and one sibling only – my big brother, Matt. He may live too far for my liking, but I love the life he leads in London now (even though I have yet to witness it first-hand). I‘m grateful that he jumped on the opportunity to study abroad in Italy for a full year in college. Since that experience, I knew it was just a matter of time until he would be living outside the US. He’s always been the more exceptional academic of us two and will always be the better cook. He recently started what I’ll call a passion project for now, and it’s really cool to see his talents come to light. I can’t wait for him to come home next month, to splurge on several SoulCycle rides with him, and to send him off so that he could go welcome SoulCycle London with open arms.
My parents.
There’s still a lot of imperfections in my relationship with my parents. But at the end of the day, I owe them more credit than I actually show. Parenting is hard, man. It’s a responsibility I won’t be ready for any time soon. And even when I am ready, I will likely never relate to the rife of hardship my parents faced. They left literally everything they had in Poland in search of a better life for their unborn children. They were so selfless in doing so. I’m grateful and forever indebted to their sacrifices and the opportunities their sacrifices allowed us. Life threw my family a curveball when my dad became disabled when my brother and I were still very young. To this day, my mom works countless hours at her labor-intensive job, with me and Matt in mind. My dad prays his heart out, wishing he could contribute so much more. Life has its ways. And while it’s easy enough to dwell on the “whys” and “what ifs,” I’d rather soak in the moments. Growing up, I would wake up as early as 4am and head to our living room to study until it was time to head to school. Here I am right now, typing away in that same living room I grew up in.
My friends.
I don’t need to name them because they already know. My friends have been my greatest anchor through the years. They are the biggest reason why the mere thought of leaving Chicago would be so hard. It’s been amazing to welcome more and more friends – new and old – into our ever-expanding friend circle. I won’t lie, I really miss my friends that aren’t in Chicago, especially those that are no longer a hallway down from me like we were in college. I’m still thankful for each of them, and I really need to commit to doing a better job of keeping in touch more than I have. I hate to sound bias in saying that I have the best friends, but I really, really do.
Katie.
Katie has now nearly survived an entire calendar year as my side-kick. She’s seen me in my happiest times, in my sobbing times, in my venting times, in my too-energetic-for-mornings times, and in the why-aren’t-you-overly-chipper-when-it’s-morning-should-I-be-concerned times. My friends sometimes give her the, “I can’t believe you put up with Martha.” And frankly, I can’t believe it either. Take a pretty girl like her and it’s pretty easy to see that I’m the one that lucked out here. She procrastinates hard, but works so much harder. She sees everything through the most logical lens and makes it look easy. I feel like I learn by just listening to her talk. I love living the grad school life vicariously through hers. I can’t wait to see her graduate and to see all the amazing things she will do next. She’s great, and I’m so, so grateful for her.
Basketball.
I don’t hold perfect attendance at my rec league, and I’m not nearly as good as I used to be or could’ve been. But I’m still grateful for the sport that provided me a sense of purpose growing up. It taught me about good sportsmanship, about leadership, and about teamwork. It sounds silly to say that I credit much of my hard work ethic to the sport, but I think life would’ve been a hell lot different without it. A basketball is probably the only inanimate object that can automatically bring a smile to my face. Basketball connected so many of my close friendships. What a sport. What a game. Thank you, basketball.
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This is just a short list, but in the end, I have so much to be grateful for. After this week, I start my new job at CAULIPOWER, and I have a really good feeling about it. I have a good feeling about the position, about the products, about the brand, and about the seemingly BA CEO.
On that note, I’m ready to consume more calories than my body is prepared for today. And as 2019 creeps up, I’ll be ready to restart all the fitness resolutions I so predictably do every year.
Crank up the microwave, Mom – I’m ready for the turkey.
Hawaiian Princess Pieces 